Endless Happy Holidays Card with GlitterThis Happy Holidays card meows "Carol of the Bells" nonstop until the battery dies A fluffy white cat tangled up in a string of Christmas lights, looking thoroughly unimpressed, "Happy Holidays" with a grumpy little "Paw Humbug!" Then they open it, and the cat gets the last word: a choir of cats launches into "Carol of the Bells," every note meowed, and it does not stop. Close the card and it keeps singing. Set it down and it keeps singing. This is

and with a hand-embossed gold seal bearing our "OA" Official Asshole logo and the text: Verified & Certified - International Council of Zero Fucks

anyone who'd appreciate the contrast between how nice it looks and how long it lasts

I only talk when you want me to

Now suck it up and purchase your very own TireCockz

and across Europe

Family birthday parties — the card that becomes the running joke at every birthday after

Anyone who loves Chili's more than angelic duties

Celebrate bold style with this grenade-shaped decanter and shot glass set

😂 Guaranteed Laughs – Whether you send it anonymously or give it in person

it's a delight — they'll want to play it again and again

revealing a never-ending chorus of mom-mommy-ma-mother-ma-ma that will play continuously for up to four hours

Because who said brown bags can't be the life of the party